So when Saturday August 25th rolled around I was not in the mood to go back to the hospital. I had just done a stress test the day before where I was at the doctor's office for several hours until they finally decided that the results looked good enough to send me home. I had a doctor appointment scheduled for Monday to repeat the stress test. All day on Saturday I kept talking myself out of going in to the doctor because I knew they would just waste my whole day and end up sending me home at the end of it. I had been instructed to do kick counts and I wasn't feeling much movement. It wasn't abnormal for me because I didn't feel a whole lot of movement throughout my pregnancy so I really wasn't that concerned about it. But finally around 6:00 that night I decided to have Brian call the doctor and sure enough she sent me to the hospital for another stress test. At first I was kind of mad at myself for doing it because I had $10 Kohls cash that was expiring that night that I really wanted to use. I was hoping I would get in and out quick before Kohls closed so I could run down there. No such luck...
After I had been hooked up to the stress test equipment we heard a really weird noise. Brian looked at the paper and found out Bristol had a really low dip in her heart rate. A few minutes later the nurse came back and announced that my doctor was coming up to the hospital. I knew it had to be serious if she was going to drive up there on a Saturday night. Once my doctor showed up she did a biophysical profile and decided that there was no other choice but to do an emergency c-section. I didn't feel physically or emotionally ready to do this! I knew I was having a c-section but I thought I still had 5 more weeks to prepare (freak out ) about it.
The nurses wheeled me into the operating room where the anesthesiologist gave me a spinal tap. That was not nearly as painful as I thought it was going to be. My body started going numb very quickly. It was a very odd feeling. Right away I started to not feel quite like myself. I was in sort of a fog. They finally brought Brian in after about the 10th time that I asked for him. They started the operation. I was amazed at how little pain I felt. Even with the spinal tap I thought I would still be in some sort of pain but there was none. But then all of a sudden I felt violently ill. I told Brian I was going to throw up. Someone handed him a bucket and told me to "just let it all out" I let it all out all right. I started heavily throwing up and feeling like I couldn't breathe. I started screaming " I can't breathe! Somebody help me!!" The anesthesiologist assured me I was fine because he could see my heart rate. But I did not feel fine and continued to scream "I can't breathe!" By this time the anesthesiologist was screaming back at me"You're fine!!" while he is shoving my head into the side of the table so I wouldn't affixiate on my vomit. In that moment I remember thinking that this was the most terrible thing I have ever experienced and I would never ever do this again. That's how awful it was. The next thing I remember is someone telling Brian to show me the baby, so he puts her next to my head and I ask him to move her so I don't throw up on her. I wish I could have had more joy in the moment I first saw her, but I was too miserable.
Bristol Lyn Bastings was born at 8:33 p.m. weighing 4 pounds 7 ounces and 18 inches long. I got to see her briefly once more as I was wheeled to the recovery room. I was disappointed I wasn't even allowed to hold her until the following day. Because she was born at 34 weeks she spent the next two weeks in the NICU. Little did we know how quickly this little girl would feel a part of our family and change our lives forever.
1 comment:
Thanks for finally posting! She's beautiful!
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